I have shared the "Red is Best" story with people via this blog and also through e-mail and other websites so it has been seen by quite a few people. After reading the story, no one was left wondering what it was an analogy for. :-) I have been thrilled with the positive responses and the dialogue it has started. It was a difficult and personal story to write so the positive feedback has been very much appreciated.
I've been thinking about the conflict that religion can cause in a family when people disagree. It shouldn't matter at all.... religion is a very personal thing and is really no one else's business. However, it has long tentacles and can instigate differences among family members. But I think a universal truth that most (hopefully all) people can agree with is.... we are all doing the best we can with the information we have.
When there is religious conflict then we obviously have different information.... we have had different experiences, have read different books, and even have different (individual) interpretations of the same books. But I believe that we are truly doing the best we can with the information we have.
I don't believe anyone is deliberately trying to hurt anyone else. No one intends to insult or offend anyone else even though offense may be taken. We are all trying to do what we believe is best with what we have.
If anyone has any comments or disagrees with this, I welcome the feedback.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Imagine
Imagine that you were taught from birth that red was the best colour. You never questioned it because that’s all you ever knew. It never occurred to you that of all the colours in the world, any other colour could possibly be better. Imagine that all through childhood you were reminded frequently that red was best and that anyone who said otherwise was a liar. You were told that people who believed that red was best were truly more enlightened and superior as they understood how wonderful red was.
Your life revolved around the colour red. Your house was red. Your car was red. Your school books were red. You were aware of other colours but you proudly wore red as you believed red was the best. You planned your vacations around the colour red….. the red things you would see…. the new red things you would find. You would only eat red foods and drink red beverages. In your home and in the homes of friends and family you knew that you would only see red walls, red furniture, and red decorations.
Family events such as weddings and the birth of babies were wrapped up in the colour red. All the ceremonial clothes were red, decorations were red, and songs were sung about the colour red. You were allowed to socialize with people who wore other colours but you were taught that it was your duty to always promote the colour red with them and show them how wonderful red was.
As a teenager, you enrolled in classes at school that extolled the virtues of red. Red was seen as the only worthwhile colour. All other colours were imitations and were to be shunned. You were taught the history of red (from red books of course), immersed yourself in red studies, and were taught the importance of red in everyday life as well as significant life events.
But one day, you really started thinking about all you had been taught about the colour red. You researched the history of red and found out that what you were reading was not what you had been taught in “red classes”. You kept searching and found out that there were serious problems with the claim about the red supremacy and that the “red is best” society is widely seen as an extremist group. You also learned that there is scientific evidence that red is not the best colour… that there is no “best” colour and that while preferences are understandable, calling any colour “the best” is fanatical and intolerant. Stories that you were told about how wonderful the colour red is, stories that you were taught were factual and that you based your beliefs on, were found to be fictitious.
You were extremely disturbed by this information. For years you based many life decisions on the fact that red was best and now your foundation has been shaken. You saw the red all around you and in the lives of your family and you wondered how to handle the conflict between what you have immersed yourself in for your entire life and what disturbing information you recently learned about the colour red. You wanted to run to your family and share with them what you have learned but, having been in their shoes, you knew it would not be well received. So you broached the subject with your red-immersed family with extreme caution and hope for understanding. But instead of being supportive and understanding of your inner conflict they said one of two things must have happened to cause you to question the superiority of red…. either you were offended by someone wearing red or you don’t have the inner strength to live up to the standards expected of those who are immersed in red.
This lack of support made you feel alone in the quest for the truth of whether red was actually the best colour. But you decided understanding the truth about red was worth the current difficulties you faced and hoped your family would eventually understand.
So you kept digging and found that the inner workings of the “red is best” society were shady. You also discovered that the founders of the society used violence against people (both followers and observers) who disagreed with them. You were horrified as you talked to people who have left the “red is best” world and heard their personal accounts of manipulation and intimidation that were still widely used to keep followers in line. You saw the ugly side of what used to be the foundation for your life.
When it came right down to it, you concluded that red really wasn’t the best. This was very disturbing and shook the foundation of your life. You questioned all your experiences with the colour red….. your childhood experiences, goals you had made for your future, and decisions you had made in your past. This caused you to rethink your stand on social issues, standards, ethics, values…. EVERYTHING.
Although you were disturbed by this, you opened your eyes and saw the other colours in the world in a new light. You realized there was value in blues, yellows, and purples. You saw the beauty of greens, browns, and pinks. You were delighted by the blacks, whites, and shades of gray.
You grieved for the time you had wasted surrounding yourself with red when all the colours of the rainbow have beauty to be enjoyed. You were so completely unsettled and disturbed by what you had found out that you decide to formally distance yourself from the “red is best” society. This was a difficult step but one you felt the need to take.
During this difficult transition, you again turned to your family hoping for some support. But instead of understanding you are made to feel guilty for even questioning that red is best… let alone leaving the “red is best” society. You were also called selfish and that you lacked integrity for publicly voicing your findings that red may not be best. You were told to keep quiet around the children as they were learning about the superiority of red and showing them other colours may confuse them.
You were hurt by your family’s lack of support. But as your search for the truth had led you away from red and opened your eyes to other colours in the world, you couldn’t go back and pretend that red was best anymore. You couldn’t imagine going back to a life of being surrounded by red everywhere you look.
You can’t un-ring a bell. And truthfully, you don’t want to un-ring it. A life without family support is not easy, but having your eyes opened to a life with many colours, not just red, is better than faking it that red is the best and that all other colours don’t exist.
Your life revolved around the colour red. Your house was red. Your car was red. Your school books were red. You were aware of other colours but you proudly wore red as you believed red was the best. You planned your vacations around the colour red….. the red things you would see…. the new red things you would find. You would only eat red foods and drink red beverages. In your home and in the homes of friends and family you knew that you would only see red walls, red furniture, and red decorations.
Family events such as weddings and the birth of babies were wrapped up in the colour red. All the ceremonial clothes were red, decorations were red, and songs were sung about the colour red. You were allowed to socialize with people who wore other colours but you were taught that it was your duty to always promote the colour red with them and show them how wonderful red was.
As a teenager, you enrolled in classes at school that extolled the virtues of red. Red was seen as the only worthwhile colour. All other colours were imitations and were to be shunned. You were taught the history of red (from red books of course), immersed yourself in red studies, and were taught the importance of red in everyday life as well as significant life events.
But one day, you really started thinking about all you had been taught about the colour red. You researched the history of red and found out that what you were reading was not what you had been taught in “red classes”. You kept searching and found out that there were serious problems with the claim about the red supremacy and that the “red is best” society is widely seen as an extremist group. You also learned that there is scientific evidence that red is not the best colour… that there is no “best” colour and that while preferences are understandable, calling any colour “the best” is fanatical and intolerant. Stories that you were told about how wonderful the colour red is, stories that you were taught were factual and that you based your beliefs on, were found to be fictitious.
You were extremely disturbed by this information. For years you based many life decisions on the fact that red was best and now your foundation has been shaken. You saw the red all around you and in the lives of your family and you wondered how to handle the conflict between what you have immersed yourself in for your entire life and what disturbing information you recently learned about the colour red. You wanted to run to your family and share with them what you have learned but, having been in their shoes, you knew it would not be well received. So you broached the subject with your red-immersed family with extreme caution and hope for understanding. But instead of being supportive and understanding of your inner conflict they said one of two things must have happened to cause you to question the superiority of red…. either you were offended by someone wearing red or you don’t have the inner strength to live up to the standards expected of those who are immersed in red.
This lack of support made you feel alone in the quest for the truth of whether red was actually the best colour. But you decided understanding the truth about red was worth the current difficulties you faced and hoped your family would eventually understand.
So you kept digging and found that the inner workings of the “red is best” society were shady. You also discovered that the founders of the society used violence against people (both followers and observers) who disagreed with them. You were horrified as you talked to people who have left the “red is best” world and heard their personal accounts of manipulation and intimidation that were still widely used to keep followers in line. You saw the ugly side of what used to be the foundation for your life.
When it came right down to it, you concluded that red really wasn’t the best. This was very disturbing and shook the foundation of your life. You questioned all your experiences with the colour red….. your childhood experiences, goals you had made for your future, and decisions you had made in your past. This caused you to rethink your stand on social issues, standards, ethics, values…. EVERYTHING.
Although you were disturbed by this, you opened your eyes and saw the other colours in the world in a new light. You realized there was value in blues, yellows, and purples. You saw the beauty of greens, browns, and pinks. You were delighted by the blacks, whites, and shades of gray.
You grieved for the time you had wasted surrounding yourself with red when all the colours of the rainbow have beauty to be enjoyed. You were so completely unsettled and disturbed by what you had found out that you decide to formally distance yourself from the “red is best” society. This was a difficult step but one you felt the need to take.
During this difficult transition, you again turned to your family hoping for some support. But instead of understanding you are made to feel guilty for even questioning that red is best… let alone leaving the “red is best” society. You were also called selfish and that you lacked integrity for publicly voicing your findings that red may not be best. You were told to keep quiet around the children as they were learning about the superiority of red and showing them other colours may confuse them.
You were hurt by your family’s lack of support. But as your search for the truth had led you away from red and opened your eyes to other colours in the world, you couldn’t go back and pretend that red was best anymore. You couldn’t imagine going back to a life of being surrounded by red everywhere you look.
You can’t un-ring a bell. And truthfully, you don’t want to un-ring it. A life without family support is not easy, but having your eyes opened to a life with many colours, not just red, is better than faking it that red is the best and that all other colours don’t exist.
Monday, February 20, 2006
A Weight Loss Update
I haven't blogged about my weight loss journey in a while so here's a quick update.....
On Wednesday Feb 8th I weighed in for a big 0.2 pound weight loss (scroll down to read the story). Well the following week I lost an additional 2.2 pounds... HOORAY!!! I still have a ways to go but seeing weight loss success is very motivating.
Also last week I did my quarterly measuring. Every three months I get someone at my gym to measure my upper arm, chest, waist, abdomen, hips, thigh, and calf. And since November last year (so in 3 months) I have lost 7.75 inches combined over those areas. AWESOME!!!!! And in the last 2 years I have lost a grand total of 31.25 inches. Feeling great about that :)
On Wednesday Feb 8th I weighed in for a big 0.2 pound weight loss (scroll down to read the story). Well the following week I lost an additional 2.2 pounds... HOORAY!!! I still have a ways to go but seeing weight loss success is very motivating.
Also last week I did my quarterly measuring. Every three months I get someone at my gym to measure my upper arm, chest, waist, abdomen, hips, thigh, and calf. And since November last year (so in 3 months) I have lost 7.75 inches combined over those areas. AWESOME!!!!! And in the last 2 years I have lost a grand total of 31.25 inches. Feeling great about that :)
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Braces off.... and a strange experience
Long story short.... my braces are off... YIPPEEEEE!!!!! :)
It all went well until just before I left the orthodonist's office. I was looking in the mirror, trying to get used to my new smile when one of the hygenists bought over the molds of my teeth before the braces. The difference between the before and after teeth were truly amazing. But instead of being amazed or in awe of the change, instead I was sad. When I saw my old teeth it was a reminder of how I never liked my smile. How I was always insecure about my teeth and the first impressions I gave people because of them. It was horrible for my self esteem and seeing the molds brought back all that sadness and insecurity.
So, although I don't plan on having any children, if I ever do, they are going to see the orthodontist as soon as possible to prevent any bite problems. I know self esteem is built on more than just teeth but hopefully they won't have to grow up being ashamed of their smiles like I was.
It all went well until just before I left the orthodonist's office. I was looking in the mirror, trying to get used to my new smile when one of the hygenists bought over the molds of my teeth before the braces. The difference between the before and after teeth were truly amazing. But instead of being amazed or in awe of the change, instead I was sad. When I saw my old teeth it was a reminder of how I never liked my smile. How I was always insecure about my teeth and the first impressions I gave people because of them. It was horrible for my self esteem and seeing the molds brought back all that sadness and insecurity.
So, although I don't plan on having any children, if I ever do, they are going to see the orthodontist as soon as possible to prevent any bite problems. I know self esteem is built on more than just teeth but hopefully they won't have to grow up being ashamed of their smiles like I was.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Confusion over "Daydream Believer"
Cheer up, Sleepy Jean
Oh, what can it mean
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen
The song Daydream Believer by The Monkees has been playing over and over in my head and, though a catchy tune, I soon realized that the words made no sense at all!
Cheer up sleepy Jean. First of all, who is Jean? Why is she sleepy? And why does she need cheering up? You might think the answer lies in the verses of the song. Alas, the verses are sung in the first person with no reference to Jean nor the reason why she might be miserable. There are a couple of generic references to "you" as if the song is being sung to an individual but it is unclear as to whether the "you" is Jean or not.
The rest of the chorus is a question but its meaning is unclear. Oh, what can it mean.... what is "it"? Without this information, one cannot begin to understand, let alone answer, the question.
To a daydream believer. So what the hell is a daydream believer? Presumably, it is a person who believes in their own daydreams. So is that someone who lives in their own world? Simply a psychotic who doesn't see reality as it is? If so, why do we care what "it" means to them?
And a homecoming queen. Okay, I know what a homecoming queen is (kind of... they didn't do that at my high school but I watch enough TV & movies to be able to figure it out). But what is interesting to me is that the first word of this line is AND... not OR but AND. So either the daydream believer is also a homecoming queen OR they are separate individuals but we care about what "it" means to both of them.
Have I lost you? I'm barely following this myself. Anyways, all I can really surmise is that Mr John Stewart, who penned these fine lyrics, holds the answers to the mysteries of Daydream Believer. You can read the lyrics of Daydream Believer in its entirety by clicking here.
Oh, what can it mean
To a daydream believer
And a homecoming queen
The song Daydream Believer by The Monkees has been playing over and over in my head and, though a catchy tune, I soon realized that the words made no sense at all!
Cheer up sleepy Jean. First of all, who is Jean? Why is she sleepy? And why does she need cheering up? You might think the answer lies in the verses of the song. Alas, the verses are sung in the first person with no reference to Jean nor the reason why she might be miserable. There are a couple of generic references to "you" as if the song is being sung to an individual but it is unclear as to whether the "you" is Jean or not.
The rest of the chorus is a question but its meaning is unclear. Oh, what can it mean.... what is "it"? Without this information, one cannot begin to understand, let alone answer, the question.
To a daydream believer. So what the hell is a daydream believer? Presumably, it is a person who believes in their own daydreams. So is that someone who lives in their own world? Simply a psychotic who doesn't see reality as it is? If so, why do we care what "it" means to them?
And a homecoming queen. Okay, I know what a homecoming queen is (kind of... they didn't do that at my high school but I watch enough TV & movies to be able to figure it out). But what is interesting to me is that the first word of this line is AND... not OR but AND. So either the daydream believer is also a homecoming queen OR they are separate individuals but we care about what "it" means to both of them.
Have I lost you? I'm barely following this myself. Anyways, all I can really surmise is that Mr John Stewart, who penned these fine lyrics, holds the answers to the mysteries of Daydream Believer. You can read the lyrics of Daydream Believer in its entirety by clicking here.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Well THAT'S never happened before.....
This morning I weighed in at Weight Watchers and then went to Starbucks to get a latte. As I arrived at the coffee shop I was talking myself into feeling good about my 0.2 lb weight loss for the week. You know, "any loss is still a loss" and "it was a dog show weekend which is always tough" and "it's better than gaining 0.2 lbs".
So, I ordered my latte at Starbucks and as the lady was making it she asked me if I was pregnant!!! So much for talking myself into feeling good about my weight LOL. She tried to cover it up by saying my hoodie was hanging funny and then went on to say how much she loves children (like that makes it okay LOL). Now, in her defence, yesterday I also went there for a latte and the hoodie I was wearing (yes, I wear hoodies too much LOL) DID make me look pregant. I noticed that when I put it on but I never thought someone would go so far as to ask if I was expecting!!!
So I'm thinking I need to stop wearing hoodies. They are comfy which is great when you are sick (which I am.... AGAIN!) but maybe before I step out of my house I'll change into something a little more flattering. My ego requires it ;)
So, I ordered my latte at Starbucks and as the lady was making it she asked me if I was pregnant!!! So much for talking myself into feeling good about my weight LOL. She tried to cover it up by saying my hoodie was hanging funny and then went on to say how much she loves children (like that makes it okay LOL). Now, in her defence, yesterday I also went there for a latte and the hoodie I was wearing (yes, I wear hoodies too much LOL) DID make me look pregant. I noticed that when I put it on but I never thought someone would go so far as to ask if I was expecting!!!
So I'm thinking I need to stop wearing hoodies. They are comfy which is great when you are sick (which I am.... AGAIN!) but maybe before I step out of my house I'll change into something a little more flattering. My ego requires it ;)
Thursday, February 02, 2006
My Crispy Mini's Experience
At Scott's suggestion, I am blogging my experience with Crispy Mini's :)
In spite of their low fat qualities I stayed away from Crispy Mini's because they are so over-processed. I am not only trying to eat low-fat, but more nutritiously. Or "closer to the earth" if you will. That is tricky for me as I don't have time to do much cooking from scratch so a lot of what I eat is processed and pre-packaged but I try my best.
However, Crispy Mini's have a new whole grain version. I still probably would not have tried them but I had a coupon AND they were on sale so the almighty dollar ruled this transaction decision.
The whole grain Crispy Mini's come in three flavours.... Apple & Cinnamon, Mexican Fiesta, and Parmesean & Garlic. I opted for the Parmesean & Garlic. They were surprisingly tasty. Probably not the best for my breath ;) but still, quite enjoyable. For Weight Watchers, you can have 8 Crispy Mini's for 1 point. Not a meal but a decent alternative when you have the munchies.
Overall, I would recommend trying the whole grain Crispy Mini's. They are a nice light snack :)
In spite of their low fat qualities I stayed away from Crispy Mini's because they are so over-processed. I am not only trying to eat low-fat, but more nutritiously. Or "closer to the earth" if you will. That is tricky for me as I don't have time to do much cooking from scratch so a lot of what I eat is processed and pre-packaged but I try my best.
However, Crispy Mini's have a new whole grain version. I still probably would not have tried them but I had a coupon AND they were on sale so the almighty dollar ruled this transaction decision.
The whole grain Crispy Mini's come in three flavours.... Apple & Cinnamon, Mexican Fiesta, and Parmesean & Garlic. I opted for the Parmesean & Garlic. They were surprisingly tasty. Probably not the best for my breath ;) but still, quite enjoyable. For Weight Watchers, you can have 8 Crispy Mini's for 1 point. Not a meal but a decent alternative when you have the munchies.
Overall, I would recommend trying the whole grain Crispy Mini's. They are a nice light snack :)
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Very successful WW week
Last week was a bad week at Weight Watchers. I had one really bad day with the fries & gravy, ceasar salad, and cinnaparts (see post below) which ultimately resulted in a weight gain for the week of 1.8 lbs. Overall, a very bad week. I wouldn't call it rock bottom but it was a huge wake-up call that I need to quit doing WW in a half-assed manner.
So I decided to completely recommit to the WW plan. I did EVERYTHING they suggested... drank at least 6 cups of water a day (usually had 8 or more), stayed within my points for the day and had very few "allowance" points, exercised 4 times/week, took a multi-vitamin daily, etc, etc, etc. Well it totally paid off as today I weighed in after one week of recommitting to it and I had a one week loss of 4.6 lbs!!!!! I was shocked and thrilled!!!! I have a goal weight that I would like to reach before I go on vacation at the beginning of March and in order to reach that goal I have to lose an average of 2.3 lbs each week until I go. Although that is still a bit of a reach, it is probably do-able if I continue to follow the WW plan to the letter.
So big WOO HOO for me. A public thanks to the people that have encouraged me (you know who you are) and a big :P to those who haven't LOL.
So I decided to completely recommit to the WW plan. I did EVERYTHING they suggested... drank at least 6 cups of water a day (usually had 8 or more), stayed within my points for the day and had very few "allowance" points, exercised 4 times/week, took a multi-vitamin daily, etc, etc, etc. Well it totally paid off as today I weighed in after one week of recommitting to it and I had a one week loss of 4.6 lbs!!!!! I was shocked and thrilled!!!! I have a goal weight that I would like to reach before I go on vacation at the beginning of March and in order to reach that goal I have to lose an average of 2.3 lbs each week until I go. Although that is still a bit of a reach, it is probably do-able if I continue to follow the WW plan to the letter.
So big WOO HOO for me. A public thanks to the people that have encouraged me (you know who you are) and a big :P to those who haven't LOL.
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