Step one in the project for building a social life outside of dog shows was to get my profile on Lavalife.com to meet single people. I did that a couple of days ago.
Step two was to actually start interacting with those people. I admit that I haven't actually initiated any contact (my heart's not totally in it yet... hopefully soon), but today I replied to a man who smiled at me (the lavalife version of flirting). I don't know if it will go beyond an e-mail (that's scary enough to me LOL) but at least I "interacted" for the first time. Hopefully next time will be easier ;)
Step three will be to exchange more e-mails and/or chat with him/them online.
Step four... phone call
Step five... meet for drinks, coffee, whatever
Step six... dinner (or another "date" activity)
So, why is this a project, you ask? Well, since you asked so nicely (LOL), it is a project because I have a really tough time trusting people - so this is as much about building trust and confidence with people as it is about dating. When I meet someone, it takes me so long to get to know them enough that I feel comfortable going out with them, that by then we are just friends LOL. Hopefully this "project" will enable me to build enough confidence and trust in people that I will actually respond in the affirmative next time a nice man asks me out. :)
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6 comments:
Boy do I have a project for you.
Step 1
Find a well-lit, high traffic area in your home town. I know that's hard in the wasteland.
Step 2
Find an outfit that says "I'm sexy, but I'm not a slut but I need sex but I won't give it away but if you give me some, I'll give you some. But not too hard, I don't like it that way. But not too soft since that would mean you're too girly." I suggest shopping at www.flirtcatalog.com.
Step 3
You have to practice wearing your new attire. Remember your neighbour who got a glimpse of you in a "personal" moment. Try parading on your balcony with your new outfit. See if that grabs his attention. If not, return. Repeat from step 2.
Step 4
Walk to the closest bus stop in your outfit. Pretend to be waiting for a bus. The goal is to get a man or woman to stop and talk to you. If you fail, go back to step 2.
Step 5
Now that the bus stop trick worked, you know the outfit works. Take several photos of yourself in the new outfit. Hire an advertizing agency. You may not have visited many mens restrooms. In the mens restroom at your local Boston Pizza they have interesting ads for "massage parlours" above the urinals. (It's interesting reading the ads whilst standing there and letting it flow). Have the agency post your photo and phone number above 1 urinal in each establisment in the area.
Step 6
You should expect many phone calls. My guess is that 50% will be heavy breathers, 25 % will say nothing but nasty words. 25% will try to "sweet talk you" into a date.
Step 7
Ask each of the sweet talkers to prepare one 30 minute speech. Give each one a specific topic. Really obscure topics. You may have to research on wikipedia to find some good topics.
Step 8
Book the local conference center.
Step 9
Send invites to everyone that works at:
Blockbuster
The hospital
McDonald's
Step 10
Prepare the evaluation sheets.
Step 11
Have the sweet talkers present infront of all of those invited. Ensure that you have a camera on hand. You must get photos of each man's elbow, ass and feet. Be sure to place a ruler next to each man's foot so that you know what to expect, if you know what I mean.
Step 12
Have the audience evaluate each one on the following:
vocabulary
syllabic fortitude
accent
accuracy
freshness (not sure what that means)
You must show up in a veil. The sweet talkers cannot make direct eye contact with you.
Step 13
Select the one that the evaluators agree is the best.
Step 14
Send him a rejection letter immediately -- he's most likely a dud
Step 15
Date #2
Thanks Scott! I mean Anon ;)
Yeah, what "Anon" said LOL
Good luck with your project . . . maybe I should start too???
You should write a book about this. :-)
Good luck. I'd be interested in any follow-up. This is better than any soap!!!!
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