"Blogger Awareness"

Back in high school I took a course on childhood development (back in the day when I pictured myself having children and thought the information would actually be useful to me... but I digress). In that course I learned that there is a point in a child's development when they become aware that they are not the only thing that matters in the world and that other people have thoughts, emotions, needs, etc.

I think a blogger can go through a similar transition. When I first started writing my blog, I thought hardly anyone read it. I knew a few people did because they were regular posters in the comments section (hello to Weeza, Klad, Sabrito, Lyndarae, and margaret). But outside of that I assumed the blog was really my personal diary. However, I am now realizing that once in a while some other people read my blog. They rarely, if ever, post comments but they have told me that they read it. I think that is the coolest thing - to have an audience - but it makes me aware that the rants and embarassing moments that I write about are being read by other people. YIKES!

There's a new kind of pressure that comes with the awareness of having an audience... the pressure to be entertaining (or they'll stop reading), the pressure to post regularly (or they won't bother to check for updates), and the pressure to always make myself look good. This last pressure (instinct really) I will try to resist.... as I think some of my best posts have come from situations where I don't look good at all (the swimsuit buying adventure and the Starbucks lady who thought I was pregnant come to mind). I think it is best to be truthful to the realities of my life. After all, isn't that what a blog should really be about?